Behave! You're on show!

 Although some parts of the article were fairly dry and humdrum, there seemed to be small bursts of light when Goffman flashed a facet of everyday life that I previously had not noticed nor thought it was worth considering, and made it a significant and almost vital ingredient of interaction. It is these small blowings of the mind that intrigue me and intensify my attraction to the social world around us. I think that relatability is key and I was definitely able to link my personal experiences with both the lecture and the reading this week - who would have thought that being a waitress would give me a heads-up in these major sociological ideas?

In the lecture, to differentiate between front and back stage, Andy used waitressing as an example. I’m a damn good waitress, even if I do say so myself, and I really do like my job but some tables are frustrating, mean and just plain rude, but what can I do? Nothing. As a front stage performer, I must adhere to the accepted social rules, and simply smile and nod while abuse is hurled at me and personal attacks start flying! Why? Because “the customer knows best” of course.  It is a strange power relation, which I’ve never completely understood. It is not until I’m in the safety of the back stage (the store room or the kitchen) that I can let steam fly and let my true feelings, as ugly as they may be, shine. And trust me, you don’t want to be there when that happens.

I also noticed that there is a front and back stage when serving playful and joking customers. The other night I decided to skew the social life drama and played a little bit of a different role. When a customer had clearly finished his plate (he practically licked his plate clean) he said “Oh I’m not sure whether I’ve finished with this one” [insert chuckle at his own joke]. I promptly responded, “OK, I will leave that one there for you”. There was a slight awkward silence when he realised I wasn’t playing the obedient no-personality waitress role but instead had teased him. He then stated “You’re a little bit of a cheeky one!” as I replied “Waitresses do have personalities too, sir”.  It is when one steps away from the normative front stage performance that the social rules are broken and things seem to get a little bit awkward and whacky. Although I am tempted, this is the furthest I’m willing to extend my back and front stage experimentation within the workplace – simply because I would really like to keep my job.

For all those waiters/waitresses out there, or people who are interested in this extensive example, I found an article that focuses on “doing gender” in terms of waitressing and serving. The article relates to Goffman’s idea of front and back stage performances, using gender as the key theme in the front stage arena. It explains how females perform gender in a normalised way, which may be different to a back stage performance. Females either stifle their back stage gender performances (because it is not deemed socially acceptable or appropriate), or they aim to blend their back stage gender performance with their front stage so they can be their ‘true’ self, whilst adhering to social expectations. Ultimately, it aims to decipher how waitresses do and perform gender in their front stage work place (which is clearly different from their backstage persona).

Ultimately, next time you go to a restaurant, please don’t be mean to the poor waiters/waitresses – or else they will bitch about you in the kitchen!

Tibbals, C 2007, ‘Doing Gender as Resistance: Waitresses and Servers in Contemporary Table Service’, Journal of Contemporary Ethnography, vol.36, no.6, pp. 731-751.