Considering the reading delved into the
codes of convicts, I couldn’t completely relate to what Wieder
was inferring; No, I have not been to jail - I’m not THAT badass. Hence I
adapted this idea of codes by following suit
from Barney Stinson (please, acknowledge the pun) from How I Met your Mother. If you are not familiar with Barney Stinson
and his Bro Code, you should be embarrassed and ashamed of yourself and you
should start watching HIMYM ASAP. Anyway, I thought I would demonstrate the
understanding of codes through a slightly superior set of Bro Codes – The Girl
Code. Here are only a few of the many codes that a lot females follow each day,
which are slightly adapted, yet quite similar, to the inmates’ codes (145-147):
- 1. Above all else, never ever ever date a friend/sister’s ex boyfriend - you just don’t go there.
- 2. Don’t let a girlfriend go out looking like she was blind whilst getting dressed.
- 3. Don’t take advantage of, or manipulate your girlfriends. Chicks before dicks. Always.
- 4. Sharing is caring – two wardrobes are better than one.
- 5. Help your friends in need. Be there for some huggin’ and lovin’.
- 6. Do not mess with your friend’s love interests or crush.
- 7. Cheaters and ex-boyfriends are the enemy.
- 8. Stick up for your friends – show your loyalty ladies!
It is these codes, and whether or not
you conform or rebel against them, that dictate the type of relationship you
have with female counterparts. We are ultimately socialized to understand,
imitate and follow these codes without being told. If any of these codes were
broken, a culprit may be shunned from the group, labeled a ‘slut’ or ‘hussy’,
or may be forced to lead a life full of cats and forever-alone memes. These harsh consequences ensure that females inherently follow the code, without being aware they are doing so.
Ultimately, whilst reading Wieder’s
article this week I was constantly having small epiphanies as I realized that
my identities and performances are just a bunch of codes put together – whether it be the Girl Code,
the Waitress Code, the Girlfriend Code, or the Family Code. In so
many situations and contexts we continuously follow unwritten guidelines
in fear of being shunned and labeled differently - even if it does mean not buying that new skirt because your friend already has it.
Wieder, L, 1974, 'Telling the code', in R Turner (ed), Ethnomethodology: Selected Readings , Pengiun Education, Harmondsworth, pp144-172
An interesting post, and I must say that I quite enjoy HIMYM. I liked your relation of the convict code to the bro code and the girl code, I think your adaption is quite apt. Interesting extension of the concept in relating the code to identity and performance, I agree that performances are closely tied to the concept of codes.
ReplyDeleteAnother concept to consider may be the 'documentary method of interpretation'. Putting it simply, it's when our actions or words (the 'document') point towards an underlying pattern or code. Or, at least, the parts of the code we know. Relating to the girl code, if you were forced to see a friend's ex for whatever reason, you might say "Damn, i've gotta go see that asshole whatshisname to pick up some stuff I left at his place", the documentary method of interpretation means that your friends may interpret this statement as something more like; "I'm not going to see whatshisname because I want to, and I acknowledge he is the enemy. I am seeing him to collect my goods, and for no other reason. I am not a hussy. I am specifically calling him an asshole in order to indicate I am not interested in this meeting, so you can not misinterpret my intentions". Why would they make all these assumptions about what is being said? Because they know that rule 7 is "Cheaters and ex-boyfriends are the enemy".
It is also possible to reverse engineer the code using thedocumentary method of interpretation. Studies in child abuse sometimes use reactions in an attempt to unravel the underlying code that a childis following (Nayda, 2004). In other words, by analysing behaviour, we can see themes and patterns emerge that can hint at the unwritten code. If, for instance, I noticed that you and your friends were all acting with hostility towards a man whom I later found out was an ex, I could summise; based on what I observed, that part of the code you were following involved shunning friends ex's. I could work this out without ever being told the code or reading it, and as I understand, this is also how we come to learn the codes of society in the first place.
All in all, I enjoyed your post and I hope this comment might expand it in a meaningful way.
REFERENCES
Nayda, R, 2004, 'Registered nurses' communication about abused children: rules, responsibilities and resistance' in Child Abuse Review, John Wiley & Sons Ltd, vol 13, pp 188-199
Wieder, L, 1974, 'Telling the code', in R Turner (ed), Ethnomethodology: Selected Readings , Pengiun Education, Harmondsworth, pp144-172
I think the concept of 'The Girl Code' is an interesting one. For me it just really affirmed that codes are generally more fluid than perhaps this post indicates.
ReplyDeleteBeing a true child of post-modernism means everything is subjective, right?
Well there are some 'rules' on this list that I know wouldn't cause me to shun someone or label them a 'hussy' if not observed. Number 4 I find particularly stand out as fluid, and the some of the rules in the second half of your list seem like grey areas depending on circumstances. I think this example of a 'code' really highlights the point that codes are under-defined and we really do make them up as we go along based on a myriad of circumstantial factors. I think your 'Girl Code' is a great example of a code with one big etc clause.
For example, I'm friends with some guy. He starts dating some girl and I become pretty good friends with her too. He cheats on her. To abide by the code I'm never allowed to talk to him again? I didn't like him for his fidelity in the first place, I wasn't dating him, I just found him funny. I'm not a slut, I just like funny people. Or maybe 'The Girl Code' takes a backseat to pre-existing relationships?
So maybe my decision is a breach or perhaps it's just an example of how we can come up with 'what ifs...' infinitely. Our codes are adaptive. I guess when we write them down they just seem a little more intense than they actually are.
And br980, I definitely agree with your paragraph about the 'documentary method of interpretation'. I thought the idea that a girl could still see her friend's ex and there would be reason attributed based on an understanding of 'The Girl Code' was a helpful addition.
Yes, I completely agree that the 'Girl Code', or for most codes, are fluid depending on context. But I would just like to highlight this is an observational study combined with the reading. Ultimately, what I tried to do is translate or transcend the criminal codes from the reading, and forge them into another completely separate code. The list of Girl Codes I had created, are in fact just replications of what you will find in the reading. In other words, I wanted to show that codes can not only be fluid in their context, but stay relatively the same (hence code 4 of sharing does not completely transcend from the half way house to girls in general society).
ReplyDeleteThe ins and outs of relationships are different in each context, so maybe the The Girl Code did take a backseat to pre-existing relationship, in your situation, but you have to think of codes as guidelines. Not all codes are adhered to at all possible times. As I wrote them, I questioned some of them myself. But I think that when the time comes to make a decision, through our socialisation and ideologies that are inherently imbedded in the way we think and act, I believe I would act in according to these codes. I understand that these codes may seem relatively stereotypical, but whether we would like to admit it or not, we will at some point engage with these codes and partake in what is known as The Girl Code.
The girl code is very similar to Wieder’s convict code (Do not snitch, do not steal from residents, help other residents etc). As you said, the girl code is not explicitly stated (no one tells you to not date a friend’s ex or to share your clothes with a friend). You learn that it is part of the code of conduct. The girl’s code is related to social norms, for example, the types of behaviour that are acceptable for males may not be acceptable for females. For example, in the girl code, it states to “never date a friend or sister’s ex boyfriend”. Wieder stated that snitching would jeopradise the inmates trust and their reputation, which is similar to the girl code of not dating a friend’s ex.
ReplyDeleteWieder found that the code structured the environment by defining what behaviour was acceptable. This is similar to the girl’s code because you adapt gendered types of behaviour and roles when you around a group of girls. For example, the code states to “help your friends in need” so girls are expected to help their friends, which in turn, shows gendered norms of girls being caring.
Like you said, we follow different codes in everyday life (family, waitress, girlfriend). We learn how to behave when we are surrounded by our family as opposed to our boyfriend. Wieder states that the code is used to explain why someone had acted the way that they did and that way of acting was necessary under the circumstances. This is related to the girl code, to explain the way that girls act the way that they do and under those circumstances. For example, in the girl code it states to “stick up for your friends”, which is why girls generally do defend their friends and stick by their side.
Wieder, D 1974, ‘Telling the Code.’ In R Turner (ed.), Ethnomethodology, Penguin,
Harmondsworth, pp144-172.